A friend sent me (Wes) these reflections on the state of her marriage as Valentine’s Day approaches. I share them here with her permission.
Standing in front of the reds, and pinks, and hearts and flowers I once again am faced with the Valentine’s dilemma.
Where are the cards for the women who are in struggling marriages?
The women who in fact do not love their husbands in a romantic way, but love them in the only way they know how, by continuing to be there for them and trying to respect and continue to move forward.
No we cannot pick from the friend section as being with someone you have committed to for life and gone through so many things with deserves more than a friend card, but the love and gushy goosh do not work either.
Does everyone in a relationship really stand in these aisles and find cards that fit their emotions?
I remember when I did, but I realize it was all in my head the love I had created for a man who did not exist.
He was just a human body for all my hopes and dreams, but as if the hot air was let out, there were none of them really inside.
Can I find new hopes and dreams in the carcass that sleeps in my bed?
Do I pick a thank you card because I am thankful for some of our times and the investment he has made in the relationship despite the pain it causes him?
Or what about a funny one, but that feels as if I am not being real to the pain and rawness of the relationship.
So once again I pick a card with a short amount of generalized words and hope, when it comes time for me to sign, I will be able to put some honest loving words on paper.
Sadness fills my broken heart and the dilemma was not solved this year but continues on….
Prayers for peace, my dear friend, as you also sit on Job’s trash heap.